Angels Among Us

Guest Author: Rachel Benbrook

In the heartland of America, victims of sexual assault face challenges when receiving care during their recovery journey. Like the crime of sexual assault itself, each victim’s story and trajectory are as different and as varied as the survivors themselves. Unlike other crimes, the victim's body is the crime scene and the vessel from which evidence is collected while the survivor recounts their story.

An angel exists among us, ready to receive both the evidence and the victim’s whole person. For the past several years, I have served as a sexual assault (SA) advocate for the YWCA in Oklahoma County, the service provider for all victims of sexual assault in the Oklahoma City area. As an advocate, I work alongside SA nurses who have specialized training, providing both healthcare and emotional support that the victim requires, while gathering evidence throughout the exam.

Hands in fists creating a circle.

Together, the nurse and I work to provide a safe environment that relies heavily on consent. After the trauma, the victim must know that they are the agents of their stories moving forward; no one will touch them without their full consent. No one will pressure them past their limits. If they love the dress they were wearing that night, they can take it home. They get to decide whether clothing is entered into evidence or not. The victims have the agency to make their own decisions.

The nurse and I let the victim know that we are their champions. We are there to answer their questions and to sit in silence if that is what they prefer. We strive to make sure that their basic needs, such as food and water, are met during and after the exam. After the exam, the YWCA personnel ensure that they have a ride home or to a safe location if no one can pick them up from the hospital.

Surprisingly, amid the range of emotions in each survivor's story, a laugh can even lighten the tense moments. The nurse connects with the client by explaining their rights, the procedure, and the follow-up process. When appropriate, they use humor, joking with the client about their weekend or pets. Trust and empathy emerge even in the most challenging moments as the nurse navigates both the technical and emotional aspects of the situation.

Unlike a regular medical procedure, the nurse and advocate must stress that the assault is not their fault. They did not deserve this, nor could they have changed it. Society holds too many misconceptions, and victim-blaming is prevalent, especially in the heartland. Questions like, What was she wearing? Why was she drinking? or Is there a chance she's lying? are unfortunately common.

As advocates, although we may not know if our assurances are adequate, it is our job to provide reassurance repeatedly. The nurses are acutely aware of the mental load this can be for the client after they leave the hospital; they do not want to leave any important words unsaid.

A healthcare provider offers comfort to a patient.

"When I think of clients when I go home at night, I don't worry so much for their physical health," said a registered nurse colleague, a seasoned SA nurse, "I worry for their mental well-being, for the thoughts they may have at night reliving the experience."

When the doubt creeps in, both the nurse and advocate want to have left their mark. They want to be the voice that plays in the client’s head. “You did nothing wrong; this was not your fault. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this. This is the fault of the perpetrator, plain and simple."

As we have seen over the years, victims come from all genders, all socioeconomic levels, and all walks of life. Regardless of the victim's origin, the team and the patient are united in the exam room. The nurse, the victim, and the advocate all exist in that critical moment together. We ensure they are comfortable. At the end of each exam, when the evidence has been collected for the police, the nurse and I smile warmly as we wish the client well. Although we may be a small part of an experience that will likely stay with them forever, we want them to leave knowing they are cared for and loved.

Sexual assault nurses are angels among us. They wear many hats; they know how to deliver information with grace, efficiency, and the utmost care. They work with law enforcement; they work with scientific processes; and above all, they see the client as a whole person and give them their whole heart.

Rachel Benbrook serves as a community volunteer for various organizations and spends her spare time writing, working with pottery, and enjoying time with her two dogs, Snoopy and Molly.

Rachel Benbrook